چــــرندوپــــرند

و بـــازهـــم میـــخواهــم فـــارسی را پـــاس بـــدارم!!! اوهـــــوم خوشـــم میـــاد اینمدلـــی جدیـــدنــــــا!

اینــــــروزهــــا کلـــــــــی مخـــلوطم!  و نیـــز در تـــــعلیـــــ قـــــ
الان این ســـه چـــهارمین بار اســـت که میـــآم یه چیزی مینویسم و دوباره پاکش میکنم!!
میـدانی آدما همیشه خــودشونو متـــفاوت میبینن و اکثرا هم به حالـــتی منـــفی! که وای هیـــچکس مثـــل من نیست و من چقـــد تنهـــام!!! این یه حســـــیه که میگن دوس ندارن اما ازش لـــــذتــــ میبرن! اصلا بعضیــــها دوست دارن همیـــشه یه چیزیو سبب ناراحت بودنشون بـــدونــن و تا اونیـــکی برطـــرف شـد یکــــی دیـــگه! بــگونه ای ارضایشان میـــکند! نمیـــدانم شاید میخواهند دلیـــلی جز خودشــــــون برای تنهــــایی شون بیـــارن که تقــــصیر خودشون نیـــــست و  متـــفاوت بودنشونـــــو مقـــصر میدوننــ!! و همیـــشه کســــانی که این غـــرها را میزنند کلی هم دوستو رفیــــق دارند! امـــا همیشـــه مقــــایسه میکــــننـ همیـــشه دنــبال کســـیند عیـــــنه خودشـــآن! حالا بیـــخیــــ اما بـــدون "سبــــــبــــ خودتــی" همــــــــ
من نمیـــگویم  فــــرق نـــداریم! داریـــم اما همـــه ســــطحیــــستــــــــــــ! !
چـــقد اگه مثـــه هم بـــودیم کســــل کننـــده بود! من کلـــــلا تفاوت خیلی دوسـ میدارم :دی
اینروز ها همه گـــلایه از این میکنند که طــرف را دوست دارند و او نمیــداند! خو بـــرو بــگو خــلاص! آهــان "غــــــــــــــرور" یادم
رفـــته بود بـــله چیـــز خوبیــــست!ازونایی که من زیادی دارم! دلـــیل پشیـــمون نشـــدن ها و شـــدن ها ی بعــدا ها!

پ.ن: یه اســـم دیگه میخوام به جـــای پ.ن! چی بزارمـــــــــــ...

پ.ن2: تـــــــــــو ! میـــدانی همـــان " بـــه خـــدا"گفتنهایـــتــــ هســـتنـد که بــاـعث میشـــوند من بــاور کنــم انــدکی! یکی بود میگفتی "به خدا" قبــول نمیکرد میگــفت باید بگـــی به مرگ مادرم!!!!! ببیـــن به کجـــا رسیــدیم!!!! حـــالا منم ازتــ بخــوام جــون مادرتو قســم 
بخـــوری آیا؟
حـــالا اصــن که چـــی نـه؟ ازکیــ تاحالا مهـــم شـــدی اینــگونه! گـــاهی دوست دارم خودم را به خریــــتــ بزنـــم! حال میـــده! حســـای خودشو داره! حالا که ما بیـــکاریمو مخـــلوط! دیـــگر نگــرانی درســـو مــدرسه نیـــستـــ مخمـــان را پــر کنــد یکـــم
اخــتصاص میــدهیم به تو پــــــررو نشــو حالا

پ.ن3: یـــک دی وی دیــــ به دســـتمان رسیـــده اســتـ با بیــش از ســــه هزار کــتـاب اگر مبالـــغه نباشد!!! حــال میکنیـــم باهاش!

پ.ن4: بـــعضــــی از آهنگا چه یـــیـــ هــو اینسپریشنه گـــنده ای میــدهند!

پ.ن5:زد بازی- تابســـتون کوتاهه!!! گاهی میگوشیـــمش دپـــ میشویم! فککن من؟؟

پ.ن6:از این قـــالب وبــم خوشم نمیـــاد از کی تاحالا من اونهمه دختــرونه بودم که بــخوام اینجارو دخــترونه ای کنـــم!

پ.ن7: ایــنویــزیــبل که میــشویم دوســـتان پی ام میــدن " کــــلک اینویز میـــای؟؟" حالا ما اگه آنلاین بودیـــم شمـــا محـــلی
میذاشـــتید آیـــا؟!

پ.ن8: ما گاهـــی میـــگیم هـــی روزگار طرف چه شــــانســـی داره ببیـــن کلـــی برق گرفتتش! اما مارو چـــی میگیره؟ چراغ  نفتـــی! یکی نیـــست بــگوید هوی کـــور اون چشـــمهایت را باز کن! همان که میــگوی چراغ نــفتیست به صـــدتا بــرق شــاید بیـــارزد!
پ.ن9: خوشـــمان نمیـــاید بعضـــیها قضـــآوت میــکنن هیـــــی! شات آپ 
_ _ _ _
I wanna watch it this time! not gonna let myself get involved that much!
I'm gonna play! yeah I'm a game 'n so are you!
you say ur not 'n ur so serious! but hey just saying that is a part of the game,right?
but if u say ur a game ur in before u know it! yeah thats how it works eek
_ _ _ _
woah did i just write that whole thing?!
بــــاو اینجور حرفـــا و اینمدلیها از ما بعـــید بــود روزگاری
_ _ _ _
-I ♥ y0u
-oh l0oks like we 've this in c0mm0n
-u ♥ me t0o?
-no silly! I ♥ me too =)
_ _ _ _
teeeeeeeheeeeeeeee :D :D :D :D LETSHRNOWLOLZISNTTIHSFUN?WEGDIALLTHETIME
I NEED A BIG BIG PARTY WITH STRANGERS! DAMN I WANNA GO TO A CLUB AND GET CRAZY :d:d:d
YEAH THAT LOTS OF ENERGY I HAVE RIGHT NOW ! :d
DONT GET ME WRONG...U HAVENT SEEN MY NAUGHTY PART YET...

she burns like the sun and u cant look away

            ولیـــــکن کـــس نــــدانـــســـــتـــــ ایــــنــــ مـــــــسـافـــــــــرچــــه گـــفــــتـــ و با کـــــه گفتـــــ و از کــــجــــا بـــــــــود  

thee UnDone mistake 'n thee UndOne sin
thee irrational feeling
thee unDoNe mistake 'n thee UndOne sin
they think its done by you 'n they think its true
thee UndOne mistake 'n thee unDone sin
that has never happened 'n never will

پ.ن: جـــــــــــــــدیـــــــــی نگیــــــــــــــــریـــد

persianthistime

نشستیــــــــــ خشـــــمو حس میکنی! تو خودتـــ! پاتو تکون میدی! سعی میکنی ندیـــــ اما نمیـــــشه آدامسم میجویـــ و چه باسرعـــت!!!! استـــــــــــــــــــرســــــــــ!!! دلشـــــوره الکیـــــــــــــ!! که چیــــ آخه؟ نه که چیـــــــــــــــــــ؟؟؟؟؟؟؟
دستت سرده اما از درون گرمـــیــ!
من نمیـــدونمـــــ واقعا چه دلیـــــلیـــــــ دارمـــــــــــــــ؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟؟
یکی به من بگه کهــــــــــ چیــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــی؟

حوصـــــــــــله ی هیـــــــــچکســـــــ و هیــــــچیـــو ندارمـ
چنـــــد روزه در حال    تعلیــــــــــــــــــــــــقــــــــــــ    به ســـــر میــبریــــمـ
حســــــــابیــــــ گمـ میشویـــــــــــــــمـ
و این نیــــــــــــز خواهد گذشـــــتــــــ

پ.ن:ایــــنروزا فقط دو آهـــنگــــ میگوشمـــــــ بگو چیـــــ؟؟؟ متالیــــکا-ناتیـــن الس مـــتـــرز  
و آنفــــورگیــــون!!! فککن من؟ هه ه
هررررر هررررر -.-

پ.ن2: با مـــــــنــــــ بودنـــ لیــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــاقـــــــــــــــــتـــــــــــــــــــــــ میخواد K?K?

پ.ن3:آی هیت بویـــز
پ.ن4: نبالیبالهیبالمیبنتلخحسینبکشستنزدیتنذرتنسیذبهماسیخهبتسینترذلمنیادلنمتیبنربیندرذنمبیادذمنبیذهم

پ.ن5: دلشـــــــــوره الکیـــــــــ دارم! طبیعیه آیا؟ :(

THE END OF SIX CRAPPY HOURS OF OUR LIFES

Today 14th june tuesday 9th grade is DONE :D It was a very very nice year ♥ full of awkward and lame moments filled with laughters and excitement :D ♥♥♥
i dont exaclty know how im feelin but i know that its a kind of happines =)

take it ese

k right now its 11:25 pm,tomorrow its literature exam! i have been studyin it since thursday now its sunday actually! its 175 f-in pages!... tuesday! tuesday tuesday tuesday!!! school is going to end finaly!
u know how much i cant wait right...! ... i'm mad right now! i dont want to study anymore! i donno why sometimes i care so much!...its only 1 more...i can do it...ican ican!!!!.....
there is my literature book and notebook plus a couple of pens my pencilcase+cellphone+orbit gum (spearmint)+literature tests+ oh no :(((((((((((((((((((( GR! u know moms ! now she just came in my room sayin " u have school tomorrow! its 12! look at u ur killing urself by this internet"
i hate this verse"u have school tomorrow" T_T
i am signed into yahoo and gmail now ! there are 18 people online on yahoo! none on gmail! and idonno how many are invisible but i am. i always find these status messages interesting OH GUESS WHAT!!! our literature teacher just came online!!!!! i was just sayin yeah status messages are interesting check these out:
"i hate my life..." - "asheghe avirlam :(( man avirlo mikham :(( daram mimiram" :((-
"a tout le monde..."-" so bored anyone wanna chat?"-"kasi balad nis ghalebe web besaze?"-
"dahanam servic mishe a darss dige nemitoooonam :(("-xXnopmplzxX"-
"Hi sexi lady"-   (oh the owner of this statusmessage is scary he scares me URGH)
oh yeah those were the status messages of the online contacts of mine atm!
ooooh my friend just sent me 1SMS! : today is the day of goodfriends!happy goodfriends day
remember life is short break the rules forgive easily be a real lover and send this message to the ones u love
even me! if u get 3 back then know that ur a goodfriend"
i just sent it back to her :)......................................................................................................
the easy A movie is playing but i aint watchin im just hearin the sounds...! yes i do love to describe everythin thats happenin right now! if u get bored dont read! alright im done writin the poems we had to memorize on a lil piece of paper goood....phew
RaNdOmS:
dont talk behind my back u lil kiddie
just shut ur mouth up and clap ur hands for me
if ur a bully thats just for 8 ppl
then ur gonna cry ur eyes out and noones gotta wip'em up fo u
__________________________
girls drama EEEEEEEW EW EW some girls drive me NUTSSSSS! im more like kinda...tomboyish
but boys suck duh i know...no offence to friends....if u sucked i wasnt ur friend now K?K?
__________________________
idonno if anyone still reads here...did they 4get bout me and here? :'( except my dear friend roto readin my BS ♥
__________________________
Italian accent is sexxxy! ♥
__________________________
i love tattoooz! ♥ i have written " uN4g!v3n" with my black marker on my hand!
__________________________
i miss _ _ _ _ _ guess it guess it...;p
__________________________
u know i really donno how im feelin right now... im excited cuz of "schools ending"
so mad and angry and UPSET! and wanna sleep but dont want to! cuz it goes so fast then its gon be mornin again i'd rather stay awake and think
__________________________
Hey God! how u doin? ;;;;)
__________________________
gonnaaaa review literature! such a nerd i am LOL nerds ruleeeee ;3
__________________________

random feelings-selftalk

ikr...FIBWHMMGN

-Its stupid

-it's normal

-i dont like it

-you do

-when is summer?

-sooner than u think

-physics

-3exams more

-OMG

-ohyeah

-awwwww<3

-no just dont go that way

-u said its normal

-it is

-so?

-but its not good,not everythin that is normal is good

-well yeah

-french fires

-yum

-waiting

-dont

-yeah i know but

-no buts just play it

-play it

-play it

-play it back

-JUST PLAY IT NOTHIN MORE

-iluvu

-memore

*sadface*

:( it's 4:05 pm the day after tomorrow I have chemistry exam I have studied but there are still 2 lessons remaining! ...I look like a mess& my room is a mess aswell! I feel so awkward!
I wanna go out and have a walk in the park...and I want it to be cloudy and rainy a little! but sun gr it just wont go away...when school is going to end :((:((:(( i know 24th khordad 7 exams remaining...but the good thing is " maths is done" phew.... u know what will make me feel better?!
a rainy weather with alot of thunder music preferly muse big black eye glasses and a big cap& comfort chair to just sit and think! and cry to let all the badfeelings out 'n then a friend who understands...

lets not hide our feelings-itsux

luvYos3lf

Loving urself is not being selfish or self centered! if u love urself it doesnt mean that you dont love others! when u say u dont love urself or you hate ur self you are not being humble! you are being stupid! no one can actually love anyone esle "truly" if he cannot love himself! all the lack of self confidence or jealousy is because of not loving urself!

choose urself first then others! its YOU first! think about YOU first! and this doesnt mean that u are not considerate!it is actually being considerate about yourself!

be yourself and love it! cuz thats what u are! ur true friends will like you for the real you! 

be nice as much as u can :) actually when u love urself u wont get mad that much...! try it! u'll C!
it so annoying and so fucking damn wrong that ppl think if u love urself u are selfish! seriously its so different...! and have u noticed that when someone asks u tell me about ur self most of people say i dont know ask others! they are not being humble! that is annoying! if u donno urself then how can others actually know the real u? or when they ask u do u think ur smart?nice? some say i dont know others should tell! and if someone says" yes I am pretty smart and yes I am a nice person" most ppl will say" how selfish" gosh that is annoying! UPDATE UR MIND PPL

home sweet home

its wednesday 8:13 pm im listening to " i'll be by Edwin Mccain" physics is on my desk with my pens and a newspaper with a waterbottle and my cellphone! and i need to pee ... but anyway!

i wanna write about the trip to yazd! yes the 3nights and 4 days trip to Yazd i told before :)

well it was the best trip ever! 

friday i woke up at almost 9 am! 

then i packed my stuff while i was doing it i was remembering the stuff to put in! 

and also i was trying to put new music in my cellphone! 

USB got f-d up and it kept saying" memory is not available" 

seriously i was so mad about to cry!!! :D so what i did was " Goddddd come onnnnnn this one time just let me do this let  it connect plz plzplz " and i remembered i can stick it from the back of the case too! so there u go I did it and it connected! but if i put it anywhere instead of my hands it would disconnect i was like" MOM COME ON GET IT FOR A SECOND" 15 mins later 

mom: not done yet?

me: no just one more song

mom:hurrrrryyyyy

me:ok ok 

*pheewwww* done!

i went to check out my facebook :D then guess what i saw my old friend since elementry school that is in abroad right now online! hah of course i started to chat and its 10:30 i havent taken a shower yet! i have to be at school at 1:30! (i usually take 1 hour and a half in the bathroom)

my mom came yelling at me " what are u doiing? WHAT? ARE YOU CHATTING? GOD GIRL YOU ARE SO CALLM FOR URSELF GET YO' ASS OUTAA UR CHAIR AND TO BATHROOM"

so i turned off the pc and ate a lil breakfast and bathrooooommmmmmmm finally!

done bathing at 11:45 then getting ready and my mom helped me packing stuff(i guess she did the most of it lol) i was so nervous and anxious and excited and happy! i felt like i was about to throw up! but it was a good kind of being nervous u know :D and the other good thing was that my close internet friend was coming to yazd so we could meet could it be better?

my friends and I planned to misscall each other when we started to go to school :D so i saw Reyhane 's message' MOVE"!!! :D lol and after gettting stuff done we called a taxi to go to schooool and my mom came with me ! i said a usual goodbye to my dad and mom! :D u know im not that kind of emotional person hugging crying kissing  like ohmygaawwwd mommaaa daddyyy i'll miss u!-.-

its just 3 nights -.- so we arrived there and everything my mom wanted to stay till our bus was going to go to train station but i said no! i arrived and see woah! :D all the moms and dads and sibling were there :D we met each other! (me.Reyhane,Nazanin,Sulmaz) our group to the trip! after getting our dinners that was a sandwich(baken with coca cola!) we went in the bus and i saw some of girls crying and getting emotional and moms crying :D dude! -.-

i picked up my usual school bag (its big) and a lil bag for very useful stuff like my cellphone,money,cream...:D

but my friends all brought big sacks :) we were all excited so happyyyy...it was this feeling so rare :D in the bus we were telling each other that we hope its gonna pass by there so we could see him for the last time before Yazd :D :)):)):)) but it didnt! whatever!(awwwww)we arrived at the train station! so awesome! alot of boys! a few hotties :D i could hardly breathe cuz my bag was too heavy haha! we arriivedd in the traaiin finalllyyyyyyyy....thank godddddddd
and we had alot and alooot of fun in train! we laughed alot that those guys who worked there was getting angry! tho he did get seriously mad and went and told to Ms.Rasi about it... stupid assholes...! we took alota funny pics called some boys:D we saved all the numbers we got for these 3 days to call them! we wanted to get a special SIM for this job but we couldnt :D so we planned to do it with our cells! 2 for me 2 for her and 2 for her and her :D they were mostly so CHOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSsSsSsSsSsS hayyyy vaye man...! after having our dinner and stuffff we arrived in Yazd at i guess it was 10:30 pm or somethin! we went out of the train here we go lots of boys again:D they were waving and we waved back it was night and dark  and iwas sleepy so i couldnt recognize if there were any hotties really...! in the bus! lots of trouble caused by bags and sacks.what a good feeling it was...finally arrived going to the hotel...! we arirved and it was sooo awesome! seriously the hotel was really good and u know those kind of high classes:D our room was ready a 4bed room! ...
u know what i really need to pee now ima write the rest later!

pointless but full of points

walking on the streets
woah look they are diggin again duno why...ouch...u know earth is so nice!!!
thinking...why ppl have made everything so hard for them! they made it like this themselves and they are complaining about it  we could change it but i said WE...
thinking...wow the least important things are becoming the most important ones i wanna be a teenager adluts! im nothing like you f-off
thinking...why teachers are always the same here...why they dont  try to actually connect with each student!why they dont accept they can be wrong sometimes too!! (most of them its like...whatever)
today was a good day
as usual waking up at 6:20
WC till 6:30
putting on school uniform and stuff...6:45
schl cab arrived 6:50
at school 7:00
i loose the time by here
oh nooo i dont wanna listen to the sucky principal's speech
hiding in the last floor's stairs with friends *phewww* skipped
then its arabic! we did a few excersices ...she is always like hyper and happy! its kinda annoying
it's physics...there is this doctor checking students...* come on kids 5 each time"
she was an afghan dr! she was so cute lol she had this accent we didnt get what she was sayin
then its maths...ohgawd i hate everykind of math! but algebra its kindaaaaa better
biology and the teacher every student is afraid of! the atmosphere goes wild lol everyones shaking skins going white like plaster!i put my head on the desk and started day dreaming
Reyh:Negin negin
me: what
oooooooooooooops! class staring at me!
Rahimi:YOU come up here
ME:yes
Rahimi:and the one behind you
me and nasrin!
Rahimi:why do you sleep in my class?
Me:no i wasn't sleeping i just put my head on the desk
Rahimi:WELL YOU MOST NOT DO THAT!THAT IS DISRESPECTFUL
and Nasrin why were u sleeping?
Nasrin:I have a headache me'am!
Rahimi:ok now both of you are good students but you should be also respectful to my class biology is sacred!now both of you go sit at ur seats!

DUUUUUDEEE she was nice this time! hah PHEW thnk god

then we went to the community room becuz we are going to go to a 3days schooltrip to Yazd! ;)

FINALY 2:15 SCHOOL IS OVAAA! dont be happy so much becuz tomorrow its THURSDAY and u know what that means right? 270 mins maths +80 mins physics!

and in the carpool...we passed by there...:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):) <3333333333
best part of the day! 'nd the dumbest

UDONNO ME DON FUCKIN JUDGE ME IFU DO WELL I DONT GIVE A FUCK

THATS JUST TOO DUMB AND TOO ATTRACTIVE WHATEVER IT IS IM ENJOYING IT SO YEAH!

rescue me

this time keeps going so fast
and i cannot go back
is this even real
feels like im in a dream
watching my life going on without me
let me in let me be
its like i dont care
but deep inside im burning like fire
i keep watching
watching everything i wanna be
and watching every chance i need
slips away from my hands
because i had no power to hold it
because i have become comfortably numb
because because i need to be survived

so rescue me from everything
i just wanna live
i wish i could breathe
take my hands
pull me up
let me in let me be
rescue me from everything
i just wanna live'
i wish i could breathe

this weakness needs to fade away
my screams need to be heard
this light needs to be shone
and this world needs to be changed
so take my hand
pull me up
rescue me
let me in,let me be

______________________________



how is it?i dont like it really...! 
i am confuseeeed! 
i probably should write about confusion later...

i luv Muse!

That is just soo annoying :/ 

well I understand that tho...but still...annoying :/ but ppsshtt ...who cares right? no lets not pretend this time! I CARE! hmmm...! that is really turning me off -.-that's ignoring...and annoying -.-

ohmaygawdd I am overreacting again! -.-.-.-.-.-.-

_____________________________

I wanna meet someone NEW! with NEW everything! everyone seems just the same...boring!

someone different...

its raining these days! but I cannot go out and walk in the rain and the rest...

why?becuzz of some reason u wont understand...

DUDE THAT WAS...OHGAWD LETS FORGET IT ...:/:/:/--.--

*IJMJBTDANDHDNAB*

um!!!!

Have u ever felt like you wanted something so bad and you didnt have the guts to try to get it but once u tried
and succeed and now that u have it u dont feel like you want it and you feel like how dumb you were before dreaming over this
but again u feel like dumbass u have this now why dont u do anythin try crazy things and give a chance to this!
but then again u feel like no dont be a dumbass!!! it can be dangerous! and not like how u wanted it! it can get serious
and hurt you! but another feeling comes like OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!i actually have done it!!!wow! its like ur stomach is exactly in ur mouth and its turning greeeen! and u have this kind of excitement but a u feel like its a lame excitement in another way its really cool! and its like u wanna keep dream about it and u can make it come true but u dont want it to be true and u want
this to stay like a dream for you!and then school and studies and ur nerdy feeling comes up and there u go u ruin it!u ruin this thing u got! u just cut it and brush it off and delete it and like i mean try to forget it!and suddenly its like what did u just do? what the fuck have u just done? and it's like now u feel calm but u need a bang head on the wall thing!this is whats called confusion!
and u eat ur nails! u know it kinda helps!trying to listen to a music u can relate to...!... none really...
! turn on AYWR!
CATCH ME IM FALLING
ITS LIKE THE GROUND IS CRUMBLING UNDERNEATH MY FEET
WONT U SAVE ME
OH OH BABY I MISSIN U SO MUCH CANT HELP IT IM IN LOVE ...urgh blah ! no it doesnt work next song...Rainin men

U GOT ME MISTAKEN THINKIN U GON GET IT EASY
FRIST OF ALL U NEED TO KNOW THAT IM NOT THE ONE
IF U THINK UR GETTIN SOMETHIN BABY U AINT GETTIN NONE... not really next...love the way u lie
JUST GONNA STAND THERE AND WATCH ME BURN DATS ALRIGHT BCUZ I LIKE THE WAY IT HURTS
JUST GONNA STAND THERE AND HEAR ME CRY BUT DATS ALRIGHT BCUZ I LOVE THE WAY U LIKE I LOVE THE WAyU LIE...NO next dont give a damn

i dont give a damn whatchu say bout that i dont give it up i dont give a damn watchu say bout that
u know im not gonna cry for some stupid guy guy who thinks he is all that!...um...next 
...

im terrified of what i do my stomach grins just when i think about u
run far away so i can breath even tho ur so far from suffocatin me
I feel so dumb just thinkin about what ive done
its not me you her him or anyone to blame
so I guess now you shouldn't run faraway
just know that i want this dream to stay
just the way it was before
and for now this thing needs to be screwd up
cuz im gettin bored of this shit
screw you ;)






 

I aint sense

I dont know what the F I am doing
dont except me to be sense cuz I aint
I feel so shallow these days
I am confused
I need a guide! a good guide! so...God u be my guide! yep thnx!
*_*
Some days I just wanna up and call it quits,
I feel like I'm surrounded by a wall of bricks,
Every time I go to get up I just fall in pits,
My life's like one great big ball of shit,

If I could just put it all in to all I spit,
'Stead I always try an' swallow it,
Instead of staring at this wall and shit,
While I sit writers block sick of all this shit,
Can't call it shit,

all I know is I'm about to hit the wall,
If i have to see another backstabbin bitch
This is it, last time, that’s all, that’s it,
I ain't dealin' widdanother fuckin' politic,

I'm like a fish in a tong
needing to get out since a long fucking time
but I guess no one is caring
what the hell I'm doing and whatthehell i wanna be
I guess its time
the time to stop waiting and get up and jump out of it
but the problem is its so fucking damn high
I need a rope or something to catch it'n up
you'd think all I do it sit here and complain bout my life
well Imma show u what u gon feel my rush
You don't feel it then it must be too real to touch,
Peel the dutch, I'm about to tear shit up,
Goosebumps, yeah, I'ma make ya hair sit up,
Yeah, sit up, I'ma tell ya who I be,
I'ma make you hate me, 'cause you ain't me,
You wait, it ain't too late to finally see,
What you close minded fucks were too blind to see,
Whoever finds me's gonna get a finder's fee,
Out this world, ain't no one out they mind as me,
It's always me, how dark can these hallways be?
The clock strikes midnight, 1, 2, then half-past 3,
This half-assed homework with this half-assed piece a' paper,
then all I talk its like I'm talking to myself
there aint no othere feelin like this
if there is come and tell me so I know I aint the only one feelin this shit

Yeah 3x

If I could kill someone in my mind it would be our school master (mod or wuteva u call it)
why the heck should I take these tests every day when they wont really effect on my Gradcard -.-
Screeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww thisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

i try to dgaf

anothapost

Here I am again hey with my another bullshit post! HA! naw I like my posts!...
I am sitting in my room,it's like 7:15 pm I guess!my door is closed,it's dark in my room no lights on
except the light of my pc!and the lil light of my cellphone winking at me it means someone has messaged me or misscalled...
I am watching a movie romance u could tell and now it's the part where the girls is saying" I dont care what ur gonna be next year
I dont care if ur crazy,God i just know i wanna be with you,I dont understand what ur doing (the girl starts crying,the guy
is about to!)it seems so pointless i mean everything it just seems pointless but when im with you its different,and i donno why
and now there they start kissing! I gotta turn off the sound since my door is closed and parents in the living room
so I dont want any weird sounds going out from my room! oh and they are kissing like so wild!and now there is when they fuck each other!
I am chewing  some nuts ... and i'm thinking there is always a perfect girl that everyone wanna be her but she'll get fucked up
and messed up just because of a guy! it's always some guy in there the reason of her miserability! and most of the time
that guy is a "nobody'! a miserable poor guy oh yeah but he is always hot and cute! and other than in movies in real life its
kinda the same!jus sometimes! oh i just saw the message! my friend messaged me that she is going to pee! this friend of mine always messages
me these kind of stuffs that dont really have an answer to replay! then she gets mad like " are u dead? why dont u replay?"
hah! oh man people in japan! you have no idea how much I wanna help them! but I just cant I have no money!...YET!...i dont understnad
why ppl dont care...its like they see them in TV but they are atleast like" awwwww poor them god helps them" and thats all!
I just cant stand like that but I have to! God you help them! i know u do! so yeah keep doin ur thing...anyway where were we?!
oh yeah the princess and the miserable guy!everyone says follow ur heart! but heart always lies!directs you to that bad  way
its people's own fault if they are in trouble or anything! they have nobody to blame but themselves! whatever goes around comes around
KARMA! yeah...! watch out ur mind ppl! watch what ur thinkin about...! js

pfsht

oh dude I am disappointed in my self now -.-
I have no life! -.- 
Ive been on internet since 12 and now it's almost 4! -.-
I didn't do anythin very special -.-
urgh I hate them -.- not really... just for now ... dislike is better than hate -.-
it's not their fault -.-
Its not mine either-.-
I cant blame anyone on this-.-
OMG-.-
Fakes-.-
its not their fault -.- it is kinda! -.- well yeah -.- uh *sigh*-.- pfsht-.-
just anotha curious teenager -.- with no fuckin life -.- but this one! -.- yeah I can blame myself-.-
thats my fault -.-no self harming nopes -.- just...


a shower would work
.

PS:i aint gon be like that! there is one person remaining!

sweet 16

16 years have passed...

it's going to be 1390! i'm like so what?! it's just a number 89 turnin to 90!

it could be turning to 1490! and our years would chnage each 1000 year! 

or we could maybe count each 365 days one month! or 3 years! ... it's something we have made up for ourselves to just dont get lost ...maybe...

I'm feeling pointless 
I dont know what to do
all i wanna do is to just dont waste the time
but how thats the question

I have downloaded some books to read but I'm not feelin like readin anything

I need some new music! but urgh I dont want my charge to get finished this soon -.-

I dont know what to do! I dont know what I wanna do! I am so fucking confused about everything

everybody telling me this year your choice is going to be for the rest of your life

it's like I'm panicked! I dont wanna act so relax and happy anymore

this fucked up mask needs to fade away

I dont wanna act all nice'n smily  just to avoid ruining others life!

I'm not sayin blaaah I am an emo I think about cutting myself everyday blah no I am friendless

I am never happy! of course I am happy! but who is happy always? no one! 

there are times I was so sad about to break in tears but I swallowed it just to stop ruining the moment! I'm not always that happy girl that is always herself! sometimeS i am not myself too

I dont wanna be nice to people who dont give a shit about me!

I dont want to care if I will ruin other people's time if i do this say that or what! grawr i'm angry right now! lets try to fix this up how am i gonna use my time the best!

1-I could make handcrafts! 

2-I could read books

3-I could get new music

4- go out with my friends

5- learn how to jerk advanced

6- study! well this should be for the last days of holiday

7- practice singing!
8- friendship bracelets

9- go find any special place in here to go to!hopefully ...

10-commeee onnn one moreeee what can i do? OH!buy news movies to watch :D

11-i just rememberd one thing! to research about majors! and studying abroad!
thats it i guess!
so for now! I guess I can make cool stuff for my room :) 

*breathing deeply* * calm down* *it's gon be ok* 

=)

these days! we are getting closer to new year!...i love spring! not  as much as i love summer and winter tho! but it has its own special feeling! it can be kinda boring either...

i love new year just beuz of holidays! and shopping! ...

I'm confused! I have to choose a major after holidays! I have no idea -.-

everyone says u have to choose what u love ! its ur own choice! but in another way they talk like there are only 2 majors > maths and experimental sciense! BLAAAAAH

_______________________________________________________
u got every right to a beautiful life! just be yourself and dont fucking care about what others would think of you SERIOUSLY YOO!
just LOOK AT YOU! YOU ARE YOUNG and you are scared! STOP being paralyzed! STOP swallowing your worlds! STOP caring what other people think! SAY WHAT UWANT WEAR WHAT U WANT Listen to the music U want to! Play it LOUD as fuck and dance to it!Go out in midnight and forget u have school tomorrow ! STOP waiting for friday! DO IT NOW! LIVE NOW!take risks tell secrets! THIS LIFE IS YOURS!

ok? ok? I WANT THIS MESSAGE UNDERSTOOD!

C'mon

Dude you thought we were makin fun of you laughin at you you felt embarrassed didnt u? yeah I can tell u did but hey dont ever do again you are too cute to watch yeah you are u have no idea u make me smile i dont even know you but just stop that attitude tho it's cute :D
yeah you who0o0olly cute dude:D
________________________
I am stressed out right now let me eXplain my feelings!
I am hyped becuzzz the situation is hyping! there is nothin special but it feels like there is,I am totally stressed out  guess why? yeah ...tomorrow is Thursday which means we are gon have 270 minutes maths class plus 90 minutes physics yeah dont u freak out even reading this? dont say no dont say!and I am confused cuz I wanna skip school tomorrow why? becuz I dont want to go to school tomorrow! :-/
_______________________
 *when God made the first woman* God:woman,you can find nice men in everycorner of the world. and then he made earth a circle that has no corner ;-/ LOLz
_______________________

I wanna see u again bish u dont efin care :(
cuz u dont efin know
and I do efin wanna meet you
you efin make me smile
but I dont efin know you

if?

If... yeah there is a lot of "ifs" in everybody's life!
I'm lying on my bed ...it's a very loud silence in my room! my thoughts are loud yeah but you cant hear ... the only voice u can hear is the " furt furt"  from yahoo my friends coming online and offline!
I'm scratchin my lips! with my teeth and finger! thinking if...if i could be that and that if i had this and this if i were there and there if i was this and that! I wanna drown and fade away, in my bed!!!
I cant focus...there are lots of random thoughts...that I cant tell! to anyone but meh!

I push my self into my bed but it feels like the more i push the more it pushes me away

it's like my bed even dont want me! I want to cry but I can't! not because there is someone here not because i'll cry loud and they will hear but because I can't! its like i want to but somethin in me doesn't want to and doesn't let me to!it's just like I'm a zombie who I am is not who I wanna be.I dont say I dont love me! I love me but hey I cant express me! the way I want to!
wait is this jealousy? no! no because I dont want me to be them or be where they are or be who they are it's like i want to express me the way they can do it! i dont even say how they do! just the ability that they have! I want that.
_________________________

if only there was somebody wishin i only knew...

_________________________

I think its the maths test tomorrow uh yup! what can I say? I just wanna bang my head on the wall and stand in the wind and become little bubbles and grab a guitar and broke it and cry so loud!

oh u see? how that math test makes me feel!!!

_________________________
I am me, YOUR APPROVAL IS SO NOT NEEDED!
_________________________

GODDDDDDD

maths just ruins ur life...!grRrRrr
WHATEVA WHATUVA WHATEHHVA 

oh my my my ur a hell of da guy

I said, excuse me you’re a hell of a guy
I mean my, my, my, my you’re like pelican fly
I mean, you’re so shy and I’m loving your tie
You’re like slicker than the guy with the thing on his eye, oh

nicki minaj is awesome :D 

imma bored imma dude yea a dude keep it up pick it up aint nothin with u dont give a fuck

do do do do i i look like imma gi give a fuck?

 

im in love with rappin with my friends :D 

attractymathyquizo2mrowliteraturefick

crushes fade away ... enjoy the illusion while it lasts... my crushes are always weird...on real people

by real people i mean people who I can contact with or be with...unreal ones are the ones I cant reach...yet! so yeah my crushes on real people are just weird!!! but cute!!! 

u know valentine isn't that cool! it just makes single people feel awkward and mingle ones  have to spend money on people who probably aren't gonna last!

what a sad verse!

~~~~~~~~

come one I want a valentine lol i mean partner on valentine :P at the same time I don't want one!

~~~~~~~~

I just hate it when I wanna keep the convo alive but all they say is " lol"

I freaking hate it when u had an awesome day at school but u find out tomorrow u have maths test that just ruins it aaaall

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRH

Attraction

it's kind of attraction ...freaking attractive...that it attracts me so freaking much!!!
it's automatic...it turnes my head back...feel the adernaline rushing through my veins
it's a kind of hotness...even when its freaking cold...my hands ... yeah it's cold
but u cant feel the hotness i get inside of meh...its like peeing in ur pants...they might
see it...but it's only you feeling the warmness...a-a-attractive...a-a-automatic...

oh gosh u know what? THAT IS ATTRACTIVE!!!!!!!
_________________________________

remember there are lil feelings behind" none of my business" lil care behind" never mind"
lil truth behind" it was just a joke" lil curiosity behind" just asking" lil wisdom behind"
how should I know?" and a lil pain behind"it's ok"

after a long time...! hi :D

after a loong time... cuz blogger just got blocked :-|it's still blocked tho! im on by unblocker...

______________________________________________

people always expect celebs to be like heroes!! always happy smiling kind peaceful ! even heroes arent that way !... it's stupid...they are just some poeple like u! even if they are teens u shudnt expect anythin special...!

_______________________________________________

True friends are Hard to find! 

i dont like that verse! but i think it's true! why wud it ever be hard to find! i wanna be a true friend to everyone I am friends with! i try to be. also it depends on ur thoughts that how do u see a friend to be "true"! 

sometimes "distance" makes u "closer" it really does.

never wish fire for ur neighbour! it's lunts and flames will effect UR house!

always wish flowers for ur neighbour! u'll feel it's smells and see the butterflies at least!

_________________________________________________

it's been a long time I wanna throw up on someone! yeah eeek huh? yuckies....:D

but yeah i want to! dont matter who it is! 

yeah right  i know it's stupid and yuck and childish and wrong! but who cares? leave it to meh

LOL

u know what ppl expect me to be when they see me 1st? a nice innocent goody 2 shoes girl!
hahaa
but thats so wrong!

only my friends know!!! ...

:D

take it easy!

I love snow so much! and winter and coldness!!!

becuz that's the time when u can feel the warmness and how enjoyable it is! 

also my birthday is in winter so yeah it's on 9th feb

...

if u always wanna be happy, u have to decrease ur expectations of people of ur friends and ur loved ones! and remember that nobody is perfect that u have flaws too so does everybody else!

it doesn't mean like u have to just assent to everything they do right or wrong just to be happy!

i mean the times that u find ur self angry or upset or sad becuz of a thing u expected ur friend to do for you and she/he didn't do it! u have to think and see do u have a right to expect that? maybe she forgot! ... u forget  things too ! 

if u always wanna be happy forgive everyone easily even if u dont wanna tell them that u did forgive them but do! so ur happy and free of thoughts bout it !

come on! the great mighty God does! why wouldn't you? ;) 

I'd go back in time and change it if I can
but if the chain is on ur door I understand
________________

-.-

Loud

YoU jUsT hAvE tO bE lOuD somtmz...

Let your feelings feel 

Let your voice sing

Let your body move

Let your soul to soar and be free

I feel bad for children I mean I feel sorry!!! they believe anything can happen and they truly believe it! but other people called" adults" or just kinda older than them try to tell them no that's not possible! then again that child grows and now she is a teenager having big dreams but she has problems with believing it! she says it's not possible that cant happen! then again those adults who put this bullshit "impossible" in her mind try to tell her no that's possible everything is possible you can do it! ... doesn't it just seem so dumb... and yeah it is dumb!

"I always try to think like a child because they actually believe anything can happen and is possible" Criss angel the mind freak

:) :(

sometimes I dont find the words to express my feelings! 

sometimes I find out myself being so serious of everything and just mad!!! it's like I've lost myself forgetting whatever I am and wanna be! 

that's when music saves me! 

sometimes I just find myself so not me!!!! with all the adjectives I dont wanna be described by! 

that's when music saves me!

sometimes I find out like woaah! ur so caught up in the day! you couldn't really think of anything! 

sometimes I promise myself to dont do that or this again! 

next day .... and it's night time to sleep! so let's c what u did today! " woaaah noo no nooo I promised myself i wont go there no god gosh..." 

that's what it feels like !!!! sometmz....

                                                         Just gonna stand there and watch me burn

                                                    but that's allright becuz i like the way it hurts

                                                         Just gonna stand there and hear me cry

                                                    but that's allright becuz i love the way you lie

                                                                           love the way u lie