if?

If... yeah there is a lot of "ifs" in everybody's life!
I'm lying on my bed ...it's a very loud silence in my room! my thoughts are loud yeah but you cant hear ... the only voice u can hear is the " furt furt"  from yahoo my friends coming online and offline!
I'm scratchin my lips! with my teeth and finger! thinking if...if i could be that and that if i had this and this if i were there and there if i was this and that! I wanna drown and fade away, in my bed!!!
I cant focus...there are lots of random thoughts...that I cant tell! to anyone but meh!

I push my self into my bed but it feels like the more i push the more it pushes me away

it's like my bed even dont want me! I want to cry but I can't! not because there is someone here not because i'll cry loud and they will hear but because I can't! its like i want to but somethin in me doesn't want to and doesn't let me to!it's just like I'm a zombie who I am is not who I wanna be.I dont say I dont love me! I love me but hey I cant express me! the way I want to!
wait is this jealousy? no! no because I dont want me to be them or be where they are or be who they are it's like i want to express me the way they can do it! i dont even say how they do! just the ability that they have! I want that.
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if only there was somebody wishin i only knew...

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I think its the maths test tomorrow uh yup! what can I say? I just wanna bang my head on the wall and stand in the wind and become little bubbles and grab a guitar and broke it and cry so loud!

oh u see? how that math test makes me feel!!!

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I am me, YOUR APPROVAL IS SO NOT NEEDED!
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GODDDDDDD

maths just ruins ur life...!grRrRrr
WHATEVA WHATUVA WHATEHHVA 

oh my my my ur a hell of da guy

I said, excuse me you’re a hell of a guy
I mean my, my, my, my you’re like pelican fly
I mean, you’re so shy and I’m loving your tie
You’re like slicker than the guy with the thing on his eye, oh

nicki minaj is awesome :D 

imma bored imma dude yea a dude keep it up pick it up aint nothin with u dont give a fuck

do do do do i i look like imma gi give a fuck?

 

im in love with rappin with my friends :D 

attractymathyquizo2mrowliteraturefick

crushes fade away ... enjoy the illusion while it lasts... my crushes are always weird...on real people

by real people i mean people who I can contact with or be with...unreal ones are the ones I cant reach...yet! so yeah my crushes on real people are just weird!!! but cute!!! 

u know valentine isn't that cool! it just makes single people feel awkward and mingle ones  have to spend money on people who probably aren't gonna last!

what a sad verse!

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come one I want a valentine lol i mean partner on valentine :P at the same time I don't want one!

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I just hate it when I wanna keep the convo alive but all they say is " lol"

I freaking hate it when u had an awesome day at school but u find out tomorrow u have maths test that just ruins it aaaall

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRH

Attraction

it's kind of attraction ...freaking attractive...that it attracts me so freaking much!!!
it's automatic...it turnes my head back...feel the adernaline rushing through my veins
it's a kind of hotness...even when its freaking cold...my hands ... yeah it's cold
but u cant feel the hotness i get inside of meh...its like peeing in ur pants...they might
see it...but it's only you feeling the warmness...a-a-attractive...a-a-automatic...

oh gosh u know what? THAT IS ATTRACTIVE!!!!!!!
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remember there are lil feelings behind" none of my business" lil care behind" never mind"
lil truth behind" it was just a joke" lil curiosity behind" just asking" lil wisdom behind"
how should I know?" and a lil pain behind"it's ok"

after a long time...! hi :D

after a loong time... cuz blogger just got blocked :-|it's still blocked tho! im on by unblocker...

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people always expect celebs to be like heroes!! always happy smiling kind peaceful ! even heroes arent that way !... it's stupid...they are just some poeple like u! even if they are teens u shudnt expect anythin special...!

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True friends are Hard to find! 

i dont like that verse! but i think it's true! why wud it ever be hard to find! i wanna be a true friend to everyone I am friends with! i try to be. also it depends on ur thoughts that how do u see a friend to be "true"! 

sometimes "distance" makes u "closer" it really does.

never wish fire for ur neighbour! it's lunts and flames will effect UR house!

always wish flowers for ur neighbour! u'll feel it's smells and see the butterflies at least!

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it's been a long time I wanna throw up on someone! yeah eeek huh? yuckies....:D

but yeah i want to! dont matter who it is! 

yeah right  i know it's stupid and yuck and childish and wrong! but who cares? leave it to meh